or least die trying!
My current quest by the time I'm 40 is to be in some sort of shape to run in the local 3k or 5k race in June--not sure what the exact distance is. This seems like a nice healthy goal, and requires no bodily mutilation as does a piercing or tattoo. Not that I am against tattoos and am seriously considering another...
And so I began my fitness quest in Mid-October. I had been half-heartedly exploring the local women's gym when a membership deal came in unmarked mail. I thought it must be fate. First, that at the same time I am considering using the on-line trial membership that something comes in the mail. Second, that I actually opened something that was obviously "junk" mail--normally something like that gets pitched into the garbage immediately.
I go. I visit. I sign up. The gym cost is really quite reasonable. Lots cheaper than either Jazzercise or Curves--which I have done recently. And with lots more to offer. Cardio machines. Weight lifting circuit. Classes that don't cost extra.
After orientation, I get right on the horse. OK, not a horse. The
Matrix weight circuit. If you haven't been to a gym lately using the weight machines, they have changed! At least they've changed since the last time I was regularly lifting weights. And a change from what the park district offers.
These machines are sleek silver and blue. I feel like Judy Jetson! Each one has a water bottle and towel holder. Convenience deluxe! lol
After the Matrix, I did the treadmill. I started slow, but still walked a mile.
And I sweat. I sweat like I never sweat at Curves. At Curves I could have worn a beaded evening gown to work out and left without a curl out of place. I sweat like I sweat at Jazzercise when the AC wasn't working.
The back of my hair was soaking. My back was soaking. My legs were soaking.
In the car, I immediately popped some ibuprofen in the car afterward and went on.
The next day I returned and tried step aerobics. Those who are squeamish or easily embarrassed, just stop right here!
I haven't done step aerobics since the early 90s. But I did Jazzercise for a few years. They both have complicated foot work at times, right?
NO! Step aerobics also comes with its own vocabulary. "Helicopter" and "walk the plank" and "Superman." Helicopter makes me think of the nearby airport where the news helicopters are parked. Walk the plank makes me think of pirates, my favorite people on earth. Superman is a comic book super hero.
I was lost. I was stymied. I was struggling to keep up and learn the terminology. I spun right when the class spun right. I zigged when they zagged. At one point, I was facing front from the rear row where I am most comfortable, but the rest of the class was facing toward me. Last row became first row and I was unprepared!
I sweat. And I sweat. I sweat some more.
Then came the floor ab work. Ab=abdominals, which are terrible muscles located in the stomach region. Abs are muscles you don't need to think about and are easily ignored unless you want to get them into shape.
An ab cramp is a muscle cramp like you've never had before. The worse pain ever. Way worse than child birth. Way worse than a root canal. Way worse than wisdom tooth removal.
An ab cramp is a charlie horse that cannot be rubbed away. You can't walk it off like a foot cramp. You can't stretch it out like a leg cramp.
You have to suffer through it.
I knew the potential for ab cramps was there. It happened to me the first time at Jazzercise. Maybe avoiding ab work for decades causes it, I'm not sure though.
This time the pain was less. But it was there. I did many crunches. Simple crunches. Some side crunches. Nothing fancy. My feet remained planted on the ground.
And the cramps came. Not the worst ones I've had. But the fear was there. I knew the potential for agonizing pain was just around the corner. So I stopped crunching.
I took a deep breath and prayed to God that the cramps would ease. And they did. I forced myself to walk to the locker room, despite the fact that all I wanted to do was crawl there.
I toweled off. Packed up my stuff. Changed shoes. Made my way to the front door. The entire time I am telling myself "you're alright" and "you will make it through this."
I got to the car and collapsed into the turbo mini van. I popped the ever-waiting ibuprofen. Why take chances? I seriously considered calling Jim at work and begging him to come pick me up.
I pulled myself together. And drove home. Under the speed limit. I was too freakin' tired to push the pedal to the floor any further.
I got home. Arranged the animals. And lay on the couch. All afternoon. Me, the couch, a pile of magazines and the remote. Thank God for HGTV!
I took the next day off. But got right back on the following day. Did the Matrix--which is 15 weight machines. Another mile on the treadmill. I looked longingly at the ellipse machine, but passed on it. My legs were shaky enough.
That was week one...I'm pleased to say that week 3 found me continuing with the Matrix circuit. Mile and a half on the treadmill. One day I even did the ellipse machine and did a half mile in 6 minutes. OK, I stopped twice to regroup, but I did the ellipse machine. I never thought it would be possible.
Oh, step aerobics? I haven't been able to go to the class because of other commitments. But I will combat step aerobics! And the toning class looks do-able...
Maybe semi-fit by 40 isn't just a pipe dream...
